2003 Hummer H2 SUV Extreme Road Test

Refusing to stop at a liquor store for breakfast, we fueled at a local gas station and loaded up on $40 worth of their finest road grub. Our overloaded plastic bags held a generous assortment of sports drinks, orange juice, doughnuts, shrink-wrapped sandwiches, and burritos. Having to sign a release form to purchase the homemade breakfast burrito didn't phase Brian, who eagerly chomped down the warmed Mexican treat.

Our high-calorie meal was consumed as we drove about 20 miles north to the dirt road leading toward the ghost town of Ballarat. Galloping through town on our 6400-pound steed, we barely slowed to honor the frontier phantoms as we sought our first major destination, the Barker Ranch. More commonly known by desert explorers as the infamous Manson Cabin, this final outpost for the crazed, crime-spree family is well hidden. A near-perfect place to avoid federal entanglements, the cabin lies at the end of a strange tree-lined trail that twists through blind turns.

Thanks to directions from desert rat and actor Perry King, along with Kiwi's dimming memory, we found the dilapidated house with little trouble. The stone structure sits isolated in the rock-strewn valley, seeming very out of place with the harsh surroundings. Raising the single-board gate, we drove on to the property and into the Twilight Zone.

Although the swastikas and animal skulls reported in the recent past had been cleaned away, there was a decidedly creepy vibe from the place that once served as the final refuge for the deranged criminal group. The main house is no stranger to visitors, as a sign-in notebook attests. Canned food rested on the shelves, along with other comforts such as books, current calendar, working clock, and numerous decorations. Sadly, Vincent Bugliosi's "Helter Skelter" was not on the shelf. The in-ground pool was bone dry, and the small outbuildings were run-down and peppered with rat droppings. We shot several commemorative photographs and spent time filming a video tour for posting online. Emanating evil, the cabin killed our lavalier microphone when the cord was crunched in a doorway.

While stopped, we took a midday lunch break outside the cabin. Kiwi dined on a massive burrito in a package labeled "The Bomb," which he had been slowly heating on the dash for more than an hour. Seeming like a sure-fire recipe for gastrointestinal disaster, he not only ate the burrito, but he lived to tell the tale.

As we made our way deeper into Death Valley, the sandy trail became progressively rocky. Sharp angles threatened the tires as we calmly drove on, seeking the right combination of trails to bring us to Striped Butte and then on to Badwater. This tough territory was exactly the challenge we sought for the H2. Winding through the desert with a single vehicle emphasizes the need for good judgment and raises the level of risk should something go wrong. Despite facing some climbs that would have been daunting in a lesser vehicle, we never experienced doubt with the H2.

Due to its extreme width, the Hummer was often limited in its side-to-side trail movement, but the 10.5 inches of ground clearance allowed it to straddle bulging rocks. Likewise, the 41.7-degree approach angle enabled the H2 to tackle a couple steep rock faces as if they were simply oversized speed bumps, rather than requiring us to carefully climb the more gentle sides.

Trona locals had suggested we try to stay in the well-maintained cabins in the national park. While we encountered numerous relics from the gold-rush mining days, it wasn't until late afternoon that we found an available cabin overlooking the striking Striped Butte. Perched atop a hill, the modern structure offered good shelter, with a futon-type mattress, card table, fireplace, and various camping sundries, such as food and reading material.

Bounding through the searing desert, race enthusiast Bart greatly enjoyed listening to the Brickyard 400 live on the XM Satellite Radio, keeping up with the status of the drivers in his numerous NASCAR pools. Having already been on the road for so long, it proved a real treat to keep up with some aspect of the outside world even in one the most remote regions in the United States.